A+Beginner's+Guide+to+Being+Bad

Striding out of a raging conflagration, coat billowing in the wind Destroying an army of minions with superior kung-fu Fighting the Devil off with one arm pinned Wiping out Big Brother in a glorious coup These are the actions of men bold and bad Are you ready to follow in their footsteps, my lad?
 * A Beginner's Guide to Being Bad**

Looking Bad, Feeling Bad, and Acting Bad Being bad is about these three things Characteristics that make others seem pretty sad It is these qualities upon which legend clings Though the two former traits are also the lesser It still doesn't hurt to be a snappy dresser

Looking bad is not so easy, so don't hastily become committed Remember that looking awesome is not quite like being awesome So if need be clothes can be omitted Better to look normal than resemble a dead possum But invest in a trench coat if you can It's required for any anti-hero or bad man

Feeling bad is all about attitude You must believe it to be it Have faith in your skills, only you have the latitude to do what needs doing, only you have true grit Otherwise, when the villains got you on the ropes You wont' go the distance, dashing everyone's hopes

The final quality needed to be bad, the only thing one must bear Looking bad and feeling bad does nothing if you can't act the part Quell villains and thugs with your steely glare By your deeds turn defenestration into a high art Words mean nothing, only actions matter Though I do suggest you learn how to do high stress patter

So there you have it, my young protege Now, the lessons are at an end You now know all you need know, I have shown you the way You have your own quest, a fiend with which to contend A villain, a nemesis of which you can boast And I have a hero to whose death I can toast